God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
