If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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