i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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