also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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