I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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