I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
