i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
