He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
