the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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