You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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