see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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