i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
