I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
