You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize