i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize