Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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