I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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