highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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