seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize