After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
