Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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