you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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