Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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