Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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