I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
