honey bunches of taint.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
