Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
