Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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