I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
