Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
