Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
handjob tips. give me some.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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