i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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