I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
