I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
