Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
