I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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