If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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