i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
