bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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