If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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