my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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