gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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