If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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