Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize