I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i need some magic done to my vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
