I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
whose ass print is on the piano?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
