But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
