ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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