would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize