ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
