She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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