In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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