wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
