you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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