I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
