If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
