yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
