Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
