i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I could make wine with my vomit
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
