I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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